This tag is associated with 49 posts

to embrace chaos

When I was growing up, my father was frugal. By time I reached adulthood, frugal had shifted into cheap, and not too long after that, fallen right off the cliff into stingy. And I hated it. We often grow up to emulate or to oppose our parental figures and in that one particular area, and it … Continue reading

Living out loud

I want to live a public life.

Hellogoodbye 2014/2015

Last year, I was in a crazy, desperate, terrible and terrifying place. And it was wonderful, in retrospect, for my perfect world to be pushed askew; for all of my foundations to be shaken, my closely held truths to be put to the test, my faith to be fashioned into a punching bag for Reality. … Continue reading

May he rest in peace

Suicide is nothing short of robbery. Grand larceny. Theft! Theft, the theft, the stealing of something priceless, irreplaceable; an object that cannot be replaced. The theft of a person. The stealing of a human soul. The early end where so much more was to be had, to be found, to be given To be lived.


Sometimes at the end of a long day I look around and I am struck by how suddenly incomprehensible the world seems. It makes no sense — I am rendered senseless — about all the trappings and typicalities of “living”.

The good things

I don’t want to be one of those people that only writes when my life outside is out of balance, out of whack, as if I could write it back into place, tie all loose ends with pretty words, raise the sun and set it with the placement of a comma, a semi-colon, and an … Continue reading

a primary truth

Too often we see essays, diatribes, against the “cult of womanhood”, as women writers often speak of heartbreak and emotions; of feelings and pain and hurt — the undertone is that this is a weakness, it is a recessional of the weak, about the weak, and for the weak. They are wrong.

Decision point

What do you do in the moment that you know that everything that happened before means nothing anymore and all you have is what comes next?

personal mythmaking

The act of creating a personal myth is a careful recipe: one part hutzpah two parts suspension of disbelief many parts alcohol, bonhomie, and charm (the mirepoix of myth!) half-part right time half-part right place And then you transcend this human plane.

Walking along the sidewalks

This weekend, I took an early morning walk with a friend. We traversed streets and avenues, deep in conversation about “serious things” of which there is often little active public forum in which to discuss. Our bodies, our heads, were bowed towards each other, intent upon the speaking and the listening, aware of even the … Continue reading

Raison d’etre

"Raw," she said. "I want something primal. I want something bare and naked. I want you to give me this life raw, unbidden, unhidden, free, fair, and true. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

One may only try.

June 2018
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