It’s been almost eight months and the relationship that I had thought (hoped, believed, put faith in) as being, potentially, the one that would go the distance.
I was wrong. (I’m not used to that). I was blindsided. I was dumped.
But, most painful, is that it was, presumably based on intimate and honest verbal conversation with my (ex)partner:
The best relationship either of us have ever had.
A place and space of deep intimacy, happiness, and love.
A place and space of growth and openness.
Of honesty. Of trust. Safe.
And yet, still not enough. For her. And while enough for me, I am no victim; I am no martyr.
I stopped fighting. I told her to go and search and find. With the best of intents. To find someone or something that made her happier. And, if in four months, if she had not found it OR if she no longer wanted to keep looking, then we could try again.
Except. It will also depend on where I am at that point because I will also search and find and explore. And if I am still amenable to a do-over – assuming I have not found someone else that I am invested in and/or I want to keep searching, then–
We will try again.
But, I am also not a fool: I don’t believe that will happen. Therefore…