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chemical reactions

A dilemma

I want her.

The cant of her hips, the quirk in her smile — her, her I want, because she is worthy of wanting.

I want her. Her, no substitute, not older, smarter, more defined. Her. Just her. As she is, unbidden, freshly spawned with untested fawn-like legs and thoughts.

I want her. And it makes me an object of pity.

For she is young. And straight. And there is so much for her to learn (on her own…not from me). But–

Lie? I cannot. I want…I want. I want and I want her, more than I deserve, more than I can but ask for.

But, I may pray. I may beg. (I do; I will)

“Please. Forgive me for my sins. Forgive me for my weakness. If but her, yes, please, if but her, anything. I will. I cannot forget. I will, I will as you ask and as you deserve. Just her. Please. I beg.”

I beg.

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About Quinn

In it but not of it. A reformed player, now watcher. Speaker of raw truths.

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Raison d’etre

"Raw," she said. "I want something primal. I want something bare and naked. I want you to give me this life raw, unbidden, unhidden, free, fair, and true. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

One may only try.

August 2015
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