I told a friend last night what the secret was to having me. It was easy:
If I’m ever in a bar, in a lounge, at the office, at a party, ordering tea in a coffee shop, seriously examining my choice of produce or protein in a market, approach me. Say hello; I’m friendly, I’ll respond. Pursue me. Flirt with me a little bit.
Try. Notice me. Just notice me and go with it.
Impeccable in my fit and form and dress, I stand straight and tall, my shirts are always pressed, my boots are always shined. My hair is rarely out of order. In winter, I doff my coat with careless regard for the space around me–I take up all the space around me–and I remove my gloves in a fashion not un-akin to that of a predator.
I order my scotch by name and age, neat.
But, please, don’t let any of that intimidate you because that’s just surface. Too often, those things are what people first notice about me and they are the least important, because, when you look past that, if you look–
- The corners of my eyes have crinkles because my smiles come easily and often
- There is mischief in those smiles
- I have the laugh of a lumberjack; it comes from deep inside me
- I enjoy mind clever, gentle teasing and rat-a-tat-tat wit with quips
- The little dent in the middle of my forehead is not from scowling but from a weird face I do that involves scrunching up my nose, raising a single eyebrow, and potentially pulling one ear to the side
- I can be an awkward, little weirdo
- I like to rant from atop a barstool; I will take a knee faster than any prayer-circled football player to talk to a child
It feels like a secret but it’s really not. I am one of the easiest people in the world if you care to do something about it.
You want to know me? Approach me.
You want to have me? Then just take me.