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musings

Maybe

Maybe I did throw in the towel too early.

Hindsight is supposedly 20-20 but I think that’s as much as lie as assuming that up is up and down is down if you’re not sure if you’re in space, under the water, or on the ground. I know it’s both fruitless and painful to look at past situations or events and say “if only I had done this then [fill in the blank]” would have happened. Life is not like a Choose Your Own Adventure book – you can’t go down a path and then flip back through the pages and test out the other ending.

Life happens like time: only moves forward.

Still, I can’t help but wonder. When my friends were in various stages of their relationships, especially the troublesome times, I always gave the advice for them to think it through and talk it out with their partner. I gave them circumstances where a breakup seems inevitable or reasonable, but that prior to going down that path it was worth a valid and genuine attempt to figure it out because if you’ve already invested so much time, why ignore that?

It’s funny, or sad, that not a single one of my friend’s gave me that advice back. They’ve always been quick to say “dump her” or “it’s not worth it” or “someone better will come along”, etc., etc., etc. – it’s also both hypocritical and telling that all of them stuck it through and remain in their relationships.

But, that is me being on the outside looking in. And I very well know that I don’t know the whole story (if that is something that can ever be known by anyone, inside or outside of a relationship).

Nonetheless, I do ask myself, did I take my own advice? Did I try, really and truly, to talk it out? Or did I make a hasty decision and stubbornness, something I have quite a bit of experience with, force me to dig in my heels and not attempt a reconciliation–

Then again, she didn’t try either, and that’s telling in and of itself, yes?

Maybe.

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About Quinn

In it but not of it. A reformed player, now watcher. Speaker of raw truths.

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  1. Pingback: Curtain Call | "Raw" She Said - 25 December 2013

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Raison d’etre

"Raw," she said. "I want something primal. I want something bare and naked. I want you to give me this life raw, unbidden, unhidden, free, fair, and true. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

One may only try.

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