The way people treat you, more often than not, has more to do with them and their feelings, their fears, their desires, their lacking than it does to do with you or yours.
I know that we forget that the only voice we hear, in our head, is our own. Our thoughts are ours. We may choose to attempt to piece them together, word after word, like knots on a rope, string them together and shove them across hoping that someone catches them in the right order and then interprets them in the way intended, but there are no guarantees of that. Every word we voice, we risk. We risk that it falls into an abyss, unheard, unknown. We risk that it is caught and discarded. We risk that it is caught and grasped in the wrong way. We risk that it is caught and–
Heard. Yes, heard. Properly.
So, we risk and we risk and we risk, and thus the only thing we can be true to, in that moment of speech and speaking, is ourselves.
Therefore, every word we say, and indeed, every associated action (and most definitely every emotion, every feeling as it springs up, oft against our not quite iron will) is more about us than it is about the person or the people or the things, yes even the things, on the receiving end.
But we forget that. And so, when we are not the giver but the receiver, we assume them superpowers that we know we don’t even have and get so offended, so upset, angry, self-righteous when the words we try to catch and the actions we try to understand hurt us. Fail us. Let us down. Shame us. Attack us.
The way people treat us – it’s about them! And the way we treat others, sadly enough, is often about us. The only way to bridge that gap, that crack in our realities, is to accept that it is there.
And then you climb into the gap. You descend into the abyss. Hoping that you meet somewhere in the middle.