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Not Separate, Just Equal

As a rule I tend not to talk about things which I consider as things to be treated as non-issues, are divisive (unless it’s life-or-death) or are personally discomfiting.

That said, I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss marriage equality and what today means to me.

Today is a big day and many of my friends don’t know that because they’re straight and this doesn’t necessarily affect them the same way. That’s okay and it’s nothing to get offended about.

Marriage equality is being put before the Supreme Court: two days of oral arguments and generations of heartache. It is not at all clear how the court will decide and it’s not even clear, post-decision, how immediately impactful that decision could be. (It’s not an unfair comparison to cases like Brown v Board of Education or Roe v Wade but those felt as if they were immediate and sweeping because we’re on the other side of it. They weren’t.)

Either way, this is a big deal. It’s a big deal to me personally and so, for my friends, is a big deal to them personally because in the eyes of the law and this country, the results could shape the rest of my life.

Many people will hate or disagree with the comparison I’m about to make (I don’t care) and it comes to another topic I rarely discuss (race) but watching this is similar to how I watched Election Night 2008. I sat there trying to figure out if this decidedly still racist yet diverse and egalitarian country would elect a non-white man as president of this most disjointed union.

I’m not often moved to tears. It’s not in my nature.

But they did elect him. I did tear up (I may even be a little bit now as I think about it) and it reminded me of things so easy to forget: people can still surprise you; past performance is not indicative of future results; we are living in amazing times; the world can change and indeed it does when you least expect it.

I don’t know what the outcome will be. Nobody does. But, I’d like to believe that ten years from now it won’t matter who you love, how you love them, or why you do, and that will be more than enough to live a full and equal life in these here United States. Even more so, I want to believe that we’ll have forgotten that those questions ever mattered in the first place.


About Quinn

In it but not of it. A reformed player, now watcher. Speaker of raw truths.


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Raison d’etre

"Raw," she said. "I want something primal. I want something bare and naked. I want you to give me this life raw, unbidden, unhidden, free, fair, and true. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

One may only try.

March 2013
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